A journal of happenings in the life of a Democratic grassroots activist who suffers from "Campaign Anxiety Disorder" erratic behavior that affects mostly Republicans of all breeds, Sarah Palin and Fox TV.
Take a look, you may suffer from it too.
I was thinking hard, believe it or not, about the somewhat famous for fifteen minutes “Joe The Plumber”. Mr. Joe Wurzelbacher from Ohio, the “Average Joe”, the “Real American” Senator McCain mentioned twenty one times during the last Presidential Debate. I get the message, its OK. Mr. McCaine wants us all to believe we are Joe or Joanna plumber, real Americans about to realize the American dream by buying a small business and being forever, ever happy.
Not so fast. I think the McCain handlers did him a disservice. There are better choices out there to portray good old Joe. It turns out Joe does not have a plumber's license, is a convicted wife beater, has a lean on his house for not paying taxes and there is no way in hell he can come up with enough money to buy out his boss since he makes less than $40,000 a year.
I have several ideas of who would have been a better allegorical figure for the Republicans to exploit. Remember Joe Clampett?
Unlike Joe W., Jed Clampett has hair. You can tell he is frugal, look at his clothes. There is a blonde bimbo, a dumb jok and a gun toting granny in the family . Best of all Jed is "Joe the Oil Man".
The Clampett's have it all. They should have left Joe the Plummer alone.
I have been trying very hard to consciously suppress one of the most devastating symptoms that my anxiety disorder CAD displays. I start to feel the warning signs that Tourette’s Disorder is about to take me over. It starts while I was taking an afternoon nap. I am crouched up in my bed watching Chris Matthews’s Hardball and start to nod off. Suddenly I am awakened by what, I first thought, was a bad dream. This woman, this fairly good looking brunette woman is on the screen loudly advocating for something that sounded like “expose”, an “investigation” of something important. I come around, sit up in a panic.
"I slept too long, what did I miss while napping?"
"Certainly a calamity has occurred in the Campaign!"
"What did Biden say! The polls have plummeted, the polls have plummeted!!!"
Oh, Oh, Oh, I should not nap.
I sprung up like a rocket from my bed and rushed to the living room where I can watch TV smoke cigarettes. I unfortunately succumbed to smoking six months into the campaign thinking it would calm me down. It did not, I now panic and cough at the same time.
I turn on the TV and tune in to Hardball:
Oh…………..My……….God! Mr. Tourette, please spare me from cursing!!! Oh………. No……….what a brainless, dim-witted She-Devil!!! What a Stinky, malodorous Mid Western She-Beast, Bitter, no-good, wretched She-Demagogue!!! Oh… ….No!!!!
I seem to be able to overcome the curse of badly cursing. The unintelligent, dimm-witted hag continues to talk and I pinch myself. Am I in America???? Have I gone back in time? These words are the echo Joe McCarthy and his 1950’s witch hunt!
Oh………….My ………..God!!! Mr. Tourette, please help!! This low class, reptilian, venomous She-Savage, Instigating Monster, Oh Well..I must say she is a F---ornicating Bitch!!! Evildoer Backmann is attempting to scare the hell out of Americans -Undecided Americans. I am dreadfully enraged by this Congresswoman from Minnesota. Her instigating tone and language are reminiscent of one of the darkest moments in American history, and She is reclaiming that moment. How utterly and outrageously revolting this irresponsible buffoon is.
What can I do to counter this malicious witch's toxic poison? I think of running to the Miami Serpentarium and donating some of my venom before I bite myself and others. I calmed down after realizing that Ms. Bechmann just hung herself. I donated $50 buckaroos to her opponent, Mr. Tinklenberg (for real, that is his name). Apparently, I am not the only one that had the Tourette attack and overcame. Mr. Tinklenberg has so far raised $120,000 since her demise. The GOP announced they will not fund the She-Beast's campaign any longer. of her campaign. Sometimes cursing does help!
